|back to main page||Love|
|It's easy to find a sweetheart. someone you love when the going is good and loves you back when you're being nice. When you're angry or depressed who loves you? When someone else is a mess or angry how do you love them? Real love can get beyond those difficulties. Real love starts with yourself. Your primary responsibility is to take care of and nuture yourself. When you have kids they are the primary responsibility. We all have our moods and fits of anger and depression. Those are the times that you learn about your relationships. Who was there for you? Who are you caring for? The anger and difficult times is the learning time for yourself and others. How do they express their anger? Can they talk about how they feel? Do they understand what they're feeling? What precipitated the event? Is it a regular thing? Are they immature? Are they working out some issues or do the same things come up again and again?|
| Until I was in my early 40's I thought I was invincible regarding my health. I could do anything I set my mind to. I didn't need to see a doctor unless I had an injury. I could eat and drink anything I wanted to with no consequences (well, depending on what I was drinking). When I was finishing my Computer Science degree in 2000 I started getting headaches. This turned out to be a need for eyeglasses. Since then I've had other issues arise.
I enjoyed my youth and I want you to enjoy yours. There is a huge world to explore, many interesting people doing amazing things. Realize that though you may do things without consequence now you won't always have that luxury. Choose your friends carefully. Make good decisions at important times. When you're feeling a little down or overwhelmed help people in need. That makes you feel really good. There are solutions to all problems.
Alethea had an opportunity to travel far away and be on her own in college. I hope that Matt also will be able to expand his horizons beyond the 50 states. It brings a new awareness as Alethea can attest to. Matt is following his passion and I'm glad he has one. Matt has a brilliant mind in math. I hope he will use that in business in the future. Math is a real money maker. With math you can do everything from Engineering to medicine to computers. Alethea has been an inspiration to Matt and Jacob in her summer job. Jacob is now in lifeguard training. It's a family choice.
I hope we can all make mohr of an effort to spend time with the NC Mohrs. That will also expand your world.
| Born Sunday 8/25/57 in the morning while dad was having breakfast in Louisville, KY
Mom and dads first child after 8 years of marriage
1958? We moved to Germany and Jen was born
1961? Moved to Maryland when I was 4 because Jen had learning disabilities and Montgomery County had an excellent program for her
I remember picking Jen up at Easter Seals after? School
1972? When Jen was mature physically some neighborhood boys (Chip and Mike Scotton, Mike Auger) convinced her to strip for them in the backyard a couple doors up the street. I found them ogling her and brought her home.
1961 - I got my first bicycle when we lived in Kensington when I was 4 years old. It was a used JC Higgins single speed. I converted it to a "banana" bike with a banana seat, high handlebars and high sissy bar. Later I converted it to a chopper.
My kindergarten teacher was Miss Perkins. I have a fond memory of my 4th grade teacher. She first recognized my talent in art. I used to draw trains with my friend Lenny Russell up the street. I had another good friend in the early years named Dougie Woodland. We played camping in the backyard.
1969 - I got a brand new bike when I was about 12. It was a really cool Schwinn Orange Krate. It was the only brand new bike I ever got. I loved that bike. I remember cleaning it meticulously all the time. It had shock absorbers front and rear, front drum brake, 16" front wheel and 20" rear wheel, 5 speeds. A year later I realized that it wasn't very good for riding longer distances. I sold it to a boy up the street. It was stolen a week later. They accused me. I found a used 10 speed Schwinn Continental. I had that bike for several years.
My room was in the basement which was far from the rest of the family and cold in the winter. I don't remember being scared to be down there, but I remember being very cold. I was very skinny which made it harder to stay warm. I remember being cold a lot of the time in the winter. I had fond memories of trying to share a room with my younger brother Phil. It didn't work.
Most people in our neighborhood only stayed for a few years. There were families who stayed but as a child I didn't understand that military kids or certain other professions moved around a lot. It was very disappointing to have your best friend move away again and again.
| Long ago in Turkey, I believe it was, a traveler came to a town, in need of hospitality. There was a custom at the time--somewhat resembling the Warm Showers List--that one could ask for hospitality at certain houses by saying that one was "God's Guest."
The traveler asked about the town square if there was someone in the town who honored the tradition. He was told there was one man, but was warned that this man also beat his guests. The traveler weighed this information and decided the beating could not be worse than his hunger and the cold. He went to the man's house.
The man warmly greeted him. "Certainly. You are most welcome. Would you like something to eat?"
The guest said "As you wish," figuring that if he was going to be beaten, at least he should have something to show for it. Not just a meal was served to him, but a great feast with many courses. The host then asked, "Would you like some coffee?"
"As you wish," said the guest.
After the meal he was given a luxurious place to sleep. "Do you have enough blankets?" asked the host.
"If you wish it, one more would be better," said the guest. It was immediately brought to him. The guest slept well despite a few dreams about beatings.
In the morning the host asked, "Would you like some breakfast to start your day's journey?"
"As you wish," said the guest.
After a generous breakfast the host offered to pack a lunch for the guest. "As you wish," said the guest.
Then the host said, "You look as if you don't have much money. May I give you some money for your journey?"
"As you wish," said the guest. Money was given to him. The guest was becoming more and more fearful, however. He thought, "With such abundance of hospitality, what a beating I shall receive."
Finally it came time to leave. He host showed him out the door, wished him a safe journey, and was about the shut the door. The guest was surprised. "Allow me to correct a malicious rumor that I was told by the villagers. They said you beat your guests, yet you have shown me nothing but great kindness and generosity."
The host replied, "No, don't do that. The rumor is true, but you have been a good guest. It's the ones who, when offered something, say, 'Oh no. Don't bother yourself.' Those are the ones I beat."
|Control the masses|
|Warning: Ancient sex on show in Paris
Ancient ceramics reveal sex, death and sacrifice in Moche religion of
By Emma Vandore <<Picture (Metafile)>>
updated 2 hours, 21 minutes ago
PARIS - The latest show at Paris' Quai Branly museum comes with a
warning for visitors: "This exhibition of Moche ceramics shows sexual
acts of an explicit nature."
But the extraordinary and graphic testimonial of the ancient Moche
civilization of Peru isn't about physical pleasure or procreation,
according to the curator.
He says the sexual acts evoke the rituals that accompanied the death of
dignitaries, and the human sacrifices that went with them. They tell a
story about the power of the elite that he says has parallels with
"Sex, death and sacrifice in the Moche religion," which opened this week
and runs until May 23, brings to Europe for the first time 134 erotic
Moche ceramics on loan from the Larco Museum in Lima, Peru.
The Moche lived on what is now the northern coast of Peru between the
first and eighth centuries. The ancient Andean people belonged to one of
the first societies to organize itself in way that would be recognized
as a state, constructing cities with elaborate monuments and specialized
centers for the production of textiles, metal and ceramics.
Their culture is on display at the anthropological Quai Branly museum,
whose recent exhibits include an exploration of the Teotihuacan people
of ancient Mexico and a tribute to African literature and culture.
The visitor to the Moche show is asked to look beyond the graphic nature
of the exhibits, such as the outsize penis used for pouring liquids, or
the grimacing woman being forced to perform oral sex.
Some of the acts are disturbing and violent - but not in the provocative
fashion of pornography or some modern artists.
They don't reflect scenes from ordinary Moche life, the exhibition
Curator Steve Bourget, a professor at Texas University who has made his
career studying the Moche, says he believes they were part of ritual or
sacrificial ceremonies - bloodthirsty and wild though strictly
Some of the ceramics are almost anatomical - the Moche artists have made
clear, often in minute detail, the nature of the acts they are
That may be because the artists were making what Bourget says is an
important distinction between vaginal intercourse, which is rarely
shown, and other forms of sex.
Vaginal sex is usually performed by a supernatural being called Wrinkle
Face - which Bourget believes makes it associated with the afterlife.
Non-vaginal intercourse often involves women engaging in sex with
skeletal beings or sacrificial victims, seen as inhabiting a place
between this world and the next.
As such Bourget believes the sexual acts are linked to a ritual
inversion of order which takes place during funerary or sacrificial
rituals associated with the transition into the other world.
"How do you go back from being dead into going in another form of life?"
he told The Associated Press during a visit this week. "All the cultures
have problems with that."
Both an anthropologist and an archaeologist, he says its only possible
to understand such a long-gone culture because "I eat the Moche, I sleep
the Moche, I talk to the Moche."
It's a relationship that seems to be working out for him.
"The Gods of the Moche seem to like me so they keep letting me find
stuff," he says.
Fifteen years ago he discovered the broken and sex-sated bones of male
warriors who'd lain for centuries in a massive sacrificial site.
After the first bodies were discovered, it took archaeologists several
days to work out what they had found, but the cut marks on the throats,
on the vertebrae, on the neck bones gave it away.
He also found outfits, textiles, and objects similar to those depicted
in the ceramics, after which "it's only a small step" to imagine them
performing the sexual rituals.
Originally interpreted as evidence of a decadent culture, Bourget says
the sexual acts should be seen as a visual discourse on the power of the
It's a story that has parallels with modern debates from the burqa to
the death penalty.
"All state societies be they French, be they American, be they any, are
by definition violent systems," Bourget said.
"The state gives itself the right to kill, to put people in jail, to
In places where the ideological pole is strongest - from the Moche
sacrifices through Ancient Rome to modern day Texas - the state tries to
magnify its power through ritualized violence.
He says the Moche religion is not the only one to seek to control
sexuality. The burqa is a form of control, as is the Catholic aversion
to condoms, he says.
"You control sexuality, you control access to it, and in the process you
give yourself power over groups, over people and you embed this power
into values and you disseminate the values as being part of the
population," he says.
"The population accept this because they believe its part of their
values. They don't think they are being controlled."
| Here are five things that research has shown can improve happiness:
1. Be grateful: Some study participants were asked to write letters of gratitude to people who had helped them in some way. The study found that these people reported a lasting increase in happiness - over weeks and even months - after implementing the habit. What's even more surprising: Sending the letter is not necessary. Even when people wrote letters but never delivered them to the addressee, they still reported feeling better afterwards.
2. Be optimistic: Another practice that seems to help is optimistic thinking. Study participants were asked to visualize an ideal future - for example, living with a loving and supportive partner, or finding a job that was fulfilling - and describe the image in a journal entry. After doing this for a few weeks, these people too reported increased feelings of well-being.
3. Count your blessings: People who practice writing down three good things that have happened to them every week show significant boosts in happiness, studies have found. It seems the act of focusing on the positive helps people remember reasons to be glad.
4. Use your strengths: Another study asked people to identify their greatest strengths, and then to try to use these strengths in new ways. For example, someone who says they have a good sense of humor could try telling jokes to lighten up business meetings or cheer up sad friends. This habit, too, seems to heighten happiness.
5. Commit acts of kindness: It turns out helping others also helps ourselves. People who donate time or money to charity, or who altruistically assist people in need, report improvements in their own happiness.
|8 fold path|
|moral conduct (right speech, right action, right livelihood);
mental discipline (right effort, right mindfulness, right concentration);
intuitive wisdom (right views, right intentions)."